BREAKING: Quiboloy to lead PH in FIBA campaign

The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit has appointed Pastor Apollo Quiboloy to be the team captain of Gilas Pilipinas, the Philippine basketball team, in its campaign for the 2023 FIBA Basketball World Cup.

This is after the appointed son of God scored 119 points in a challenging match against the best Philippine basketball defenders in the Philippines. Quiboloy was comfortable shooting from beyond the 3-point line because of his God-given talents.

The obviously sober Quiboloy, in a social media post, reminded his believers that he is better than NBA legend Wilt Chamberlain, who in a 1962 game scored 100 points against New York Knicks while playing for Philadelphia Warriors.

“Chamberlain was 26 years old and the tallest among the players with a towering height of 7’1 while Pastor Apollo stands 5’6 and a half inches tall,” the 72-year-old God’s favorite reminded everyone on social media.

Even Michael Jordan was also not spared from embarrassing comparison from Quiboloy’s score.

“Meanwhile, Michael Jordan who was deemed the greatest player of all time scored an all-time high 69 points, the highest score in his basketball career in 1990,” Quiboloy said.

The Philippines will host the 2023 FIBA Basketball World Cup alongside Japan and Indonesia. This is the first time in the history of the sporting event that three countries will have three hosts, also thanks to Quiboloy’s grace.

From its 40th rank, the Philippines is expected to surpass the world champions Spain in the rankings even if the other mortal Filipino players do not show up.

This is a satirical post.